Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Who Does The To-Do List Work For?

So, I love to-do lists. I mean, I really love them. Basically, if I'm upset about anything at all, "making a to-do list" would be one of the top three cures for my angst. I've learned, however, that there are different uses for lists and that it's important to remember: The List Works for ME! I do NOT work for the List! Seriously, if you use a list correctly, it's a comforting friend and aid. But, give it too much power, and you're done.

Case in point:  We've been without Daddy for just over two weeks now. At three weeks, two days, we will officially enter the "longest time we've been without Daddy" zone. Already, my girls are asking when he'll be back; and I'm ready, too. But, we're just beginning. This is stressful and I'm getting tired, cranky, and negative. Solution? Among many things, make a to-do list. Write it all down. And then stand on top of it and look down on it and say "I'm in charge, list! I'll do what I want and need to do and that's it!"

Sometimes I write my list in order of priority of task. Sometimes I just "vomit" onto the paper all the things that are rattling in my head that "need" to be done....and then I alphabetize them for fun. Sometimes I categorize them by area of life or person that they pertain to.  And then, when I'm through being stressed, pissed, sad, and angry, I do a few things on the list, feel better and eventually throw the list away.

It's not really about finishing the list, I've learned. It's about knowing that it's there if I need it. Sometimes it's just comforting to have my life reduced to an oblong piece of paper  - before I go back to living for real.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Got Presence?

My little boy has it. I think it's the thing that makes us giggle with delight when we look at babies - it's PRESENCE - that innate sense that one is important and has a role to play in the world. With babies, it's uninhibited and pure. They haven't had anyone tell them otherwise. They haven't experienced those feelings of doubt and insecurity. No one has ever said anything to them indicating that they are other than the center of the universe. So, they smile and gaze and look pretty darn content with themselves - and we older, scarred wiser, mature folks marvel.

Simone commented on some baby pictures of herself the other day "I wish I were a baby again. I think I was an angel flying around God." Maybe that's why kids are so confident. They are fresh from Heaven. Oh, I hope I can help them keep that glow as long as possible...and maybe I can put on some of that "fresh from Heaven" sparkle today, along with the over-40 face cream and tummy-toning lotion!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Enjoy it!

I just had this flash of excitement and appreciation thinking about enjoying life with my little kids. This is a challenging time of life, but it's so uniquely fun! My girls have new chore charts and Simone, my oldest, is thrilled with it. She actually shouted "My chore chart is the funnest thing ever!" tonight. I can't believe how she's running around tidying things up and being ultra-responsible these last couple of days. I think she's going to earn a new Leapster cartridge before I know it.

Seriously, though, I have the rest of my life to work on the to-do list. Getting up every day and enjoying these moments with my kiddos will NOT last forever. Listening to them, learning to "keep the chore chart fun"  - that's what matters.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

So, I'm starting my blog!

I meant to start this thing on New Year's Day, but have been putting it off. I think procrastination for fear of not being perfect is a huge issue for me. Things are always so much more complicated in my mind than they are in reality. Today I have just decided to start writing and get this puppy going.

This was a big day for our family. My husband left for active duty in the US Army and will not be home for good for 16-17 months. This has motivated me to start a blog, but I can't commit to just writing about my experience as a military wife & mom. I want to be free to write about faith, mommying, music, childbirth, breastfeeding, life - whatever strikes me. I've found facebook to be a great outlet and way to share myself with others - this is an extension of that outlet.

Tonight my children went to bed with no argument, my girls cuddling together upstairs in the top bunk, my baby boy comfy in his crib. I think they know a new phase has started and they are resting up to make it all work. Good night!